I'm sorry that I can't be like her. I just can't. I'm sorry that I'm not good enough for you. I'm sorry that I don't make your world amazing and wonderful like she does/did. I'm sorry I'm not as talented or inspiring or beautiful, inside and out, as she is. But I can promise you that I will love you more than she ever will. Isn't that enough?

No. Because at this point, we both deserve better. I know I deserve someone who will love only me. Moreover, I don't even want to think of the possibility that I might be enough for you. Because then what happens when we fall apart, as all relationships do, eventually and one way or another? I don't think I can bare to take that sort of pain...again. And so I will continue "acting". I'll avoid you at every turn, in hopes that these feelings go away. But I doubt they will. They haven't gone away for years.

I have this tendency to encourage guys I like to go after other girls. Or to pretend I don't like guys I actually do like. Like to the point where I don't talk to them and they really do think I don't like them. Heh. I should start adopting cats now, because I'm going to have to somehow end up with 99 by the time I'm 65, retired and still single :')